You can’t imagine it, the singer says. At that moment readying for her new album launch in eight years, ecstatically in love with her newish partner, and at long last the mom to a little one after struggling to conceive for ten years, on top of the world. Suddenly in March she was told she had breast cancer.
The musician, birth name J. Cornish, is famous for speaking her mind. The record, her latest release, was meant as an open book, addressing every bit of hardship she’d faced since she last made an album (endometrial issues, pregnancy loss, broken romances, emotional abuse, suicide) with her usual frankness. The lead track, No Secrets, was launched in April. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Then follow-up track, her song Living My Best Life, was released in May and she was talking to press about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly coping with her cancer. A month later she shared the news, and in the start of summer she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “Seriously?” look. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they ask, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I answer, ‘Well, not much…’” she has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.
Our interview takes place at a photo studio in the capital. She is dressed in a light brown synthetic jacket, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and oversized specs. Imagine biker chic meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the picture. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. Cornish is sharp-witted, bold and blunt. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is planning to attempt her standup debut next year. “I like entertaining. During performances I frequently joke about the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was planning an performance at the ceremony when she noticed an abnormality. “I immediately went to get it checked, had an scan, and they said, ‘It seems benign; your breasts are normal.’ And I insisted, ‘Yet I sense it. My arm hurts and numbness in my fingers whenever I rise.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the following my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then Cornish had convinced herself it was fine. The way she tells it, it was simply too inconvenient to get cancer when she had so much on.
“We’re two weeks away from debuting the project after a long hiatus and an extended break. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘Oh, it’s a Zoom, it won’t be anything.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be good, and she informs me, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she continues, ‘I’m so, so sorry but your reports have come back as malignant cells.’” How did you respond? “I answered, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. You know when you have emergency surgery you go on a gurney, but now I just walked with a hospital gown and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she notes, she’s been fortunate. No chemotherapy or radiation, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? I’m grateful it was caught soon. The surgery happened four months ago and my one side now looks like a odd shape.” She smiles again. “At least the nipple remains.”
The subsequent surgery is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her chest, she remarks, are now “asymmetrical. The size doesn’t match. That’s impolite! I thought, no need to bully me, I’m already having a rough time. So rude! Amusingly I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be flawless. Illness changed that.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is no stranger to illness. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s used to physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, functioning as a wake-up call, or blow, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ From a young age, it has consistently accompanied achievements for me; something severe or obscure has happened to my health.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already beginning featuring in the London theater in a musical (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue WPW, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and palpitations. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an intravenous line, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward six years, and 17-year-old Jess has become part of the female band the group while studying at the academy. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a stroke. Then when I was planning to release songs in 2020 I had a collision and my throat was injured and I lost my voice for a long period.”
Wow, I say, hold on, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
